Illusion

It's an illusion.

It can last a year, a day, a week, or a certain 29-days.

We can enjoy the illusion.

It's always beautiful, bright, full of good things.

But then again.

It was just an illusion.

It has an expiration date.

No matter how beautiful it is.

No matter how nice it is.

The thunder will hit us at some point.

The thunder called 'reality'.

When it comes, illusion has to take a bow. And say it's goodbye.

But there's nothing wrong having an illusion once. Or maybe twice. Or maybe more.

It's refreshing. Something to cherish of.

And when it's over. All's left is a memory.

Brutally beautiful.

Now, hey you reality. What do you offer me?

when the dreams crashed...

It's just faded away.

My dream.

The door's closed.

And i had no one to blame.

Except myself.

The door shut. Right in front of my face.

And the dream lost.

Hit me badly.

Slap me hard.

Time wasted. Yet lesson learned.

Hope this is just another way of Him.

To lead me somewhere else.

Somewhere different. Somewhere better. Somewhere nicer.

STUPID!!

they said i'm stupid.

no.

i'm worse than that.

stupid means then dont know that they are doing the wrong things.

me?
i know.
i know this is stupid.
i know this is wrong.
i know this is hurt.

yet,
i'm doing this.

For the reason,
that will never be understood.

Let alone by anyone else,
even i dont understand it either.

so, what exactly that made me?

corat-coret malam hari...

OK.
Sebulan cuma satu post.
Rekor yang kelewat buruk buat orang yang di awal udah berkoar-koar mau rajin nge-blog. But what can i do?

Gak ada alasan yang jelas si.
Outline enggak. Not even a word. Jangankan word, letter pun blom.

Kerjaan?
Well, let's blame it on that!
Setelah 3-bulan-penuh-online pas magang kemaren, sekarang gw online cuma buat nge-post artikel. At least 2 a day.
jadi, on my defence, gw jadi ngerasa udah nge-blog.
Padahal mah ya beda jauh.

Ya udah. Lupakan.
Yang jelas, i'm back on a writing zone.

Selalu deh. Dibutuhkan penghancur mood atau insomnia untuk ngebuat gw nulis lagi.
For this post, i get both.

As always, ada sisi positif dari segala hal...

Review dulu ah..
last 2 months, gw balik lagi ke rutinitas kampus.
And by rutinitas i mean selalu telat dan cabut kuliah.., haha..

Padahal, this is the last semester i got this kind of full schedule.

And i believe, i'm gonna freakin miss all this.

especially all my dear friends.

yang sekarang aja udah mulai ilang2, (apa gw-nya? entahlah...)

gmana semester depan?

beberapa blog yang lalu gw sempet ngomongin soal dream...
want it, and u get it...

gw BUTUH itu sekarang...
i need a push..
an 'ON' button...

to at least let me move...
rather just stuck here like a stone.

sudahlah.
i have to stop complaining..

tapi kenapa yah, ngeluh di blog ato status tuh enak?
haha.. silly though...
but, believe me, millions people do that.

Kayak sharing penderitaan dengan orang lain yah?
atau just seeking an attention?
or maybe both.

For me,
this is what i have on my mind that need to get out.
to be written,
to be read (yeah, perhaps only really few people read this but i have my other writings that read by hundreds so i wouldnt mind... -nyombong abis... haha...)

echa's sending off...
thanks for reading my complain.
promise u a better and much more meaningful post next time... hehe..

See Ya!!!

the 'F' word...

I try to smile...
Well... U could say it work..
I'm smiling...

But it doesn't hide the fact that I'm hurting..

Deep down inside..

These stupid things call 'feeling' is killing me..

Can a human live without that?

Millions of voice will say the same thing:

Of course, we can't!

But... Let's try to see from this point of view...

Okay...
Without that 'f' word..
We'll never be happy,,
But on the other hand, we won't be sad also...

So.. The lose of happiness would be..

Nothing...

But I guess,
That kind of things won't called life, will it?

...
...
...
*just some stupid thought...

life is...

people says life is a game...

but why can't i find the pause button?
so i can freeze any moments that i love...

but why cant i find any checkpoint?
so i can start over from the place i last saved...

but why can't i find the walkthrough books?
so i can find out what will i face next...

but why can't i find delete button?
so i can erase any memories that i don't like, or needed...

but why can't i find a RESET button?
so that i can end it, and start all over again...


it's not a game, i guess..

life is...

simply..

sucks...



but, we have to deal with it...

fight for it...

and try to enjoy and be happy